Royal Enfield Christmas

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Royal Enfield Christmas

Bunty Golightly
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through Blotto Hall ,
Not a spanner was turning nobody was doing f*ck all ,
The Belstaffs were hung by the chimney with care ,
In the hope that by morning Lewis Leathers would be there,
The servants were snoring all snug in their beds ,
With thoughts of debauchery filling their heads ,
Miss Phitten-Willing in her lingerie and I in my cap,
I was reading Pete's manual whilst having a crap ,
When out in the courtyard there came such a clatter ,
I sprang from the pan to see what was the matter ,
Away to the window I sprang like a golden flash ,
Fell over a bantam and threw up the sash ,
The shine from a blue star on the new fallen snow ,
Gave the lustre of metalflake on the objects below,
Through the mist in me monocle what should suddenly appear ,
But a bloody big sidecar and six outriders clear,
With a tubby old driver ,the old engine did tick,
I knew in a moment he'd been giving it some stick ,
More rapid than beezas the outriders came ,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name ,
Now Cruiser now Clipper , now Interceptor and Bullet ,
On Meteor on Ensign ,my model K you must pull it ,
Across the courtyard to the old garage wall ,
Now rev away ,rev away ,rev away all,
Like raindrops that spit afore the storm starts it's toil ,
They flew o'er the house dripping their oil ,
Then in a twinkling as I warmed me arse by the fire ,
Was a screeching of brakes and a squeeling of tyre,
I pulled up me long johns and was turning around ,
Down the chimney came St Hitchcock with a bound ,
He was dressed in red leathers from his head to his foot ,
And his gear was all tarnished with gravel rash and soot ,
A bundle of spares he had in a sack ,
He looked like a mechanic opening his pack ,
His Mk8's they twinkled , his Cromwell how merry ,
He let out a fart and asked for a sherry ,
His dry little mouth was never to sneer ,
And he said ''well bugger it ,I'll settle for beer '',
He was chubby and plump a right little elf ,
And I laughed when I saw him and damned near shit meself ,
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work ,
Placed spare parts in stockings and then turned with a jerk ,
Laid his grimy old finger on the side of his nose ,
And giving a nod up the chimney he rose ,
He sprang to his outfit ,a Vtwin for sure,
And away they all motored with a bloody great roar, ,
But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight ,

''Have a Royal Enfield Christmas and to all riders goodnight ''.

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Re: Royal Enfield Christmas

Vivek Soni-2
Ha ha. Excellent piece of prose and poetry Major.

Wishing you and the rest of the jolly good folks on this group and Merry
Christmas and a Very Happy New Year as well.

VS

On Sunday, December 23, 2012, Maj Bertram Golightly MBH <
[hidden email]> wrote:

>
>
> 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through Blotto Hall ,
> Not a spanner was turning nobody was doing f*ck all ,
> The Belstaffs were hung by the chimney with care ,
> In the hope that by morning Lewis Leathers would be there,
> The servants were snoring all snug in their beds ,
> With thoughts of debauchery filling their heads ,
> Miss Phitten-Willing in her lingerie and I in my cap,
> I was reading Pete's manual whilst having a crap ,
> When out in the courtyard there came such a clatter ,
> I sprang from the pan to see what was the matter ,
> Away to the window I sprang like a golden flash ,
> Fell over a bantam and threw up the sash ,
> The shine from a blue star on the new fallen snow ,
> Gave the lustre of metalflake on the objects below,
> Through the mist in me monocle what should suddenly appear ,
> But a bloody big sidecar and six outriders clear,
> With a tubby old driver ,the old engine did tick,
> I knew in a moment he'd been giving it some stick ,
> More rapid than beezas the outriders came ,
> And he whistled and shouted and called them by name ,
> Now Cruiser now Clipper , now Interceptor and Bullet ,
> On Meteor on Ensign ,my model K you must pull it ,
> Across the courtyard to the old garage wall ,
> Now rev away ,rev away ,rev away all,
> Like raindrops that spit afore the storm starts it's toil ,
> They flew o'er the house dripping their oil ,
> Then in a twinkling as I warmed me arse by the fire ,
> Was a screeching of brakes and a squeeling of tyre,
> I pulled up me long johns and was turning around ,
> Down the chimney came St Hitchcock with a bound ,
> He was dressed in red leathers from his head to his foot ,
> And his gear was all tarnished with gravel rash and soot ,
> A bundle of spares he had in a sack ,
> He looked like a mechanic opening his pack ,
> His Mk8's they twinkled , his Cromwell how merry ,
> He let out a fart and asked for a sherry ,
> His dry little mouth was never to sneer ,
> And he said ''well bugger it ,I'll settle for beer '',
> He was chubby and plump a right little elf ,
> And I laughed when I saw him and damned near shit meself ,
> He spoke not a word but went straight to his work ,
> Placed spare parts in stockings and then turned with a jerk ,
> Laid his grimy old finger on the side of his nose ,
> And giving a nod up the chimney he rose ,
> He sprang to his outfit ,a Vtwin for sure,
> And away they all motored with a bloody great roar, ,
> But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight ,
>
> ''Have a Royal Enfield Christmas and to all riders goodnight ''.
>
>
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